"Thank you God for warmth," I say to myself while walking into the kitchen with bags of wood in my hands intended for the fire place. Then I think to myself, "I'm addressing a non-existent being." To this, I reassure myself and address 'god' again: "You will exist as long as I need you to exist."
Going cold turkey with god isn't a viable option for me. I grew up in a Christian family, faithfully went to church until two years ago, lead group Bible studies, managed other Bible study leaders, and the list goes on. Religion was an essential part of my life. It was even going to be my vocation. I canceled going to seminary because of issues I had with the application of ministry. It never seemed to achieve the goals. It just stated the goals over and over again, maybe in hopes that the goals would become realized. I would make statements like, "Christianity is the greatest impetus by which to become fully human." Seriously, all of my cards were on the table.
How long will it take to wean myself off of the mystical? I haven't the slightest clue. I tend to think that pieces will remain with me until the day I die. A quarter of my life has been built in the artificial bubble of Christian equity. I'm hoping for a bust.