Friday, March 15, 2013

Dealing with the habits

"Thank you God for warmth," I say to myself while walking into the kitchen with bags of wood in my hands intended for the fire place. Then I think to myself, "I'm addressing a non-existent being." To this, I reassure myself and address 'god' again: "You will exist as long as I need you to exist."

Going cold turkey with god isn't a viable option for me. I grew up in a Christian family, faithfully went to church until two years ago, lead group Bible studies, managed other Bible study leaders, and the list goes on. Religion was an essential part of my life. It was even going to be my vocation. I canceled going to seminary because of issues I had with the application of ministry. It never seemed to achieve the goals. It just stated the goals over and over again, maybe in hopes that the goals would become realized. I would make statements like, "Christianity is the greatest impetus by which to become fully human." Seriously, all of my cards were on the table.

How long will it take to wean myself off of the mystical? I haven't the slightest clue. I tend to think that pieces will remain with me until the day I die. A quarter of my life has been built in the artificial bubble of Christian equity. I'm hoping for a bust.

1 comment:

  1. So... you address a non-existent being, then reflect that you addressed a non-existent being, then you reassure yourself as you directly exist the non-existent being that it will only exist as long as you need it to exist! And when you no longer need the non-existent being to exist, then suddenly it will be so?

    And there are people that have NEVER believed that God exists. And there are people who have ALWAYS believed that God exists. And people coming. And people going.

    My point? I believe that this non-existent being does indeed exist, although I dare say not in the form that you have been conditioned to imagine. I would suggest to try to separate what is said in the bible, and what the church says (that is not in the bible) and even the parts of the bible which appears to be untrue, or perhaps we can "throw the baby out with the bathwater"

    While you're at it, maybe you should wean yourself from the knowledge that the world is round?